तू मुझे किसी अंतरे की तरह भूल गयी !!!

कैसी थी वो पत्थरदिली की मुझे

ठुकराने की बात तू कबूल गयी,

मैने तुझे मुखड़े की तरह याद रखा

तू मुझे किसी अंतरे की तरह भूल गयी।

जो दूर जा जाके भी मुझ तक वापस आता रहा,

बेदिलि के जाने ऐसे कौन से झूले पे तू झूल गयी।

चाहत मुझे उधार में भी नही दी तुमने,

और वफ़ा की दौलत मुझसे वसूल गयी।

गलत था मेरा छोटी से छोटी चीज़ को याद रखना,

या भूल था कि तू बड़ी से बड़ी बात भूल गयी।

थोड़ा सा शायराना हो जाये

1. आस्माँ पे उग आते इस सूरज को देखके लगता है,
कभी आये यूँ ही कोई मेरी भी ज़िंदगी में नया सवेरा लेकर !!



2. दीवानगी की एक हद ये की लैब में
तेरे चहरे को डेस्कटौप वॉलपेपर बना लिया,
और एक दीवनगी का आलम ये भी,
कि जो भी वॉलपेपर लगाया,
टेरा ही चेहरा नज़र आया !!

3. तेरे ख्वाबों का तोहफ़ा ही देने आयी हो जैसे,

आज नींद भी आयी कुछ ऐसे तकल्लुफ़ से...

4. आज लिखना चाहता हूँ तुझपे,

पर लिख नही पाता कुछ,

कोई मिसाल ही नही दे पाता,

कोई कहता है तुम हज़ारों में एक हो,

कोई कहे है,लाखों में एक हो...

मैं क्या कहूँ, मुझे तो लगता है...

तुम बस एक हो!!

5. अल्जेबरा के इस जोड़ घटाव में जब तेरा ख्याल आया,

तो लगा,तू मेरी ज़िंदगी से जुड़ जाये बस,सारे गम घट जायेंगे ...

6. काला लिबास है या काला जादू कोई,

जो तुमपे लिपटा हुआ,मुझपे छाया हुआ है !

7. तेरे पास आने से डरता हूँ,

कि एक झटके से झकझोर न दे तू मुझको,

पर जानता हूँ,कि छू लूँ तो

तेरा एहसास बह जायेगा मुझमे..

हाँ बिजली ही तो हो तुम !! (composed when sb asked me 2 write a sher on 'electricity' )

8 कल चांद मुझसे बोला,

तू भी मेरे साथ रह सकता है,

अब तो तुझे भी आदत पड़ने लगी है,

अंधेरे में रहने की...

9. बादल की ऊँचाई देखकर क्यों जलते हो

वो तो टपकेगा एक रोज़, बूँद बूँद बनकर ....

10. फ़िर तेरा ज़िक्र आया,फ़िर तेरी कमी महसूस हुई,

आज फ़िर तड़प उठा इस बात पे दिल,

कि क्यों तेरा ज़िंदगी में लौट आना मुमकिन नही,

ऎ मेरे बचपन,कहाँ खो गये तुम??

11. फ़िर आज चांद बना रह है शक्ले अजीब सी,

फ़िर आज किसी की खूबसूरती मेरे

डरने की वजह बन गयी है...

Ek non-ajnabee haseena se yun mulakat ho gayi

Usually I like watching the sunrise,but that day, it was different.Not because I didnt like it,but because I didnt see it,well not in the literal sense of it actually.I did wake up early,as my habit goes,looked at the morning sky,but this time I didnt "see" the sun rising,I "felt" it.For the non philosophical souls wondering when I will start making sense,I would like to elaborate that I felt a desire,an urge,maybe even a need, of someone bringing a new dawn in my life,maybe someone would rise up in this sparkless unromantic life...maybe!!

The bus was about to leave,we were three people on the seat.One of our friends sat near the window,but I wanted to count us,as just two,she...and me,living at the edge,and sitting at the edge.The journey was to last around quarter of an hour,and it was just the begining of a sweet little day,just the first few minutes of plenty that I would spend with her.Well to sum up,it was just the begining...but then,it was the begining,and I wanted it to be as perfect as possible.I was more nervous than I had been during any of the vivas in my college(bad comparison I know!!),just a little confused as well.It isnt that I didnt try to calm my nerves,afterall it was just a routine outing of some friends,everyone expected it to be just normal,so why couldnt I.Whatever be the reason,the fact is,being normal was not among the options,also "none of these" wasnt there.I could even feel my sense of humour going haywire then,just as the very recollection of those moments is making it happen now.So we had been together for close to ten minutes,the bus journey had started a couple of minutes ago,and,I had uttered exactly a couple of words to her so far.God bless the person who invented the phrase "Good Morning"!!

"You look beautiful", you had to be a fool to expect a dumbo like me,with all the nervousness of the world engulfing me,to say that to her.But this was one of the few 3 word phrases that I wanted to say.Expectedly "good morning" remained my only words for quite some time.Then there was a mention of my SMS in the morning which had remained unanswered,when finally my philosophical self found its own,and I said "its not always a good thing to keep someone waiting".As it commonly happens,my philosophy remained unanswered.Again a generation of silence followed,only constructive things I did then, was to think of as many things to talk about as I could.The weirdo bus was noisy and it was not helping my cause either.Complete solitude was not possible,but at least we could have some silence.My prayers were answered when the bus stopped for filling its energy reserves,motionless meant noiseless,and I had to find my voice then.So what were the things that I could talk about.My favourite TV series had been an indirect recommendation of her,I thought of making a mention of that.After all,it never harms to show the other person that you remember things even remotely related to her.The funny thing was, I couldnt talk about it,as it would bring a third person into the frame,a name which probably would have made her uncomfortable then.For the confused ones,its one of our common friends,who wasnt on talking terms with her then,and who,was directly recommended about my favourite series.With this also went the second topic,which was another one of my favourite serials,again a result of her indirect recommendation.If anything could make her feel even an enigma of ackwardness,I must avoid it,and thats what I did.Of course I had other topics but then the bus,and the noise,had started all over again.So I was back to doing the best thing I could do then,admire her.Let me just give a detailed account of what it is like,when you,want to believe,that the person next to you is the most beautiful person alive!!

It wont be true if I say that I could not remove my eyes off her.The truth is,I felt so shy that I wasnt looking at her much,but I would stil like to believe ,and would appreciate if you also believed, that all the time, I was only looking at her....even when, I wasnt.I wanted to tell her,that in almost three years that I had known her,I never found her so attractive.Among many reasons for my feeling so,was also the obvious one that she indeed looked very very pretty that day.Something was clearly wrong with me,I was noticing things like her ear ring to even her chappal!!..I had never been someone with any sort of taste for these feminine things,but lots was different that day.Again it wont be true if I say that I was falling in love with her,yet the reality is...I wanted to.

I was sitting close to the back door of the bus,the genius angel noticed it,and remarked "hey dont fall down the bus".So far so good...and then she added "dont worry,I wont let you fall".XYZ public will argue that there isnt anything hugely romantic about this comment,but then I was in my own land of dreams and desires.I had my own interpretations and this gentle comment of hers had a romanticism attached to it,which only my heart could have identified then.If she smiled at me,passed a momentarily glance at me,did anything which could be anyway related to my presence next to her,even the smallest of things,it was driving me crazy.I felt an urge to sing 'pehla nasha pehla khumaar' in some filmy location,throwing my cap all over the place.Again sanity prevailed,for a while,and I decided to start some sort of discussion with her.Yes,it was time for an extended conversation now.I already had a topic(in fact many topics) ready,MBA preparations.It was a nice issue,and there was just so much that we could discuss about,as two genuine aspirants of one of the toughest entrance exams.The conversation was a mild success,with exactly one question(by me) and one answer(by her).Here I am,a guy,who wishes to get into the best management college of the country,face the toughest interviews with confidence,struggling to express a routine attraction that I was feeling for a girl...only if that were a routine attraction.It may sound a tad monotonous,but I cant restrain myself from mentioning,again,that she looked lovely,and seemed to be getting lovelier by every minute.The journey was nearing its end,and I finally gathered the courage to face the harsh reality,that I had been an absolute dumbo,maybe even a bore.The irony is,I still loved those moments.

Now,putting things into perspective,and finally getting into the normal mode,I know, all that meant nothing.Yet,it conveyed so much.The Mba talk(of 2 sentences) was the last chat we had during the journey,but I am not complaining now.Some things are better left unsaid,specially when silence can be so beautiful,and so very romantic.Purists may disagree,but I would still like to believe,and would appreciate if you also believed,that I fell in love with her during those moments,during that journy,even if I wasnt in love,just a couple of hours later.Someone once said "we derive greatest of pleasures in the simplest of things",now I know,that the guy must have had a similar trip in his life!!

Story Behind the Story: I am in the middle of reading "anything for you madam" by Tushar Raheja.The book is very much in the Chetan Bhagat mode,yet I am enjoying the romantic aspect of it,which even made me write something myself,on this enigma called romance.Also,not only does this post come straight out of my heart,it also comes out of my imagination.After a narration of train journey,inspired by a true experience,I found a bus journey,a convenient topic...comments and suggestions are most welcome :)

क्या है मेरी ये ज़िंदगी ??

क्या है मेरी ये ज़िंदगी..कमरे का ट्यूब लाईट,
जिससे पल पल की रोशनी के बदले
एक कीमत अदा करनी पड़ती है...

या वो खाली बालटी,
जो सिर्फ़ ज़रूरत के वक़्त भरी जाती है,
वर्ना खाली ही रह जाती है ...

दरवाज़े पे पड़ा डोर मैट,
जिसे जिसने भी देखा,
नज़र झुका के ही देखा...

मेरी खिड़की पे लगा ये पर्दा
जो मौसम के मद्धम होने पर
परे हटता आया है,
मगर धूप झेलता आया है ....

या शायद ये अलार्म घड़ी
जिसकी आवाज़ नींद से जगा तो देती है
पर ये नही बताती की
इस जागॄति का क्या करूँ ....


क्या है मेरी ये ज़िंदगी??!!!

This post is interesting..no funny..no interesting...no slightly complicated !!

The piece of writing below is CERTAINLY NOT my piece of imagination,well as many would APPRECIATE the point,that it cannot be.In all weirdness,these are words/phrases/watever uttered by one of our teachers.Many people may dismiss it as mere slit of pongues,but I,with my blessed aesthetic sense, have always enjoyed them thoroughly.All the readers who are unfamiliar with the person concerned will need a little imagination,a bit of visualisation,to APPRECIATE the comments,which were made in all seriousness.For the special class of readers who happen to be my classmates,am sure they would enjoy the remarks,and if possible,remind of other such instances they can think of...enjoy :P

It is very funny,no intersting...no funny
It is very slightly complicated..very complicated
You make a pant,give a shirt,give a shirt,make a pant..it is the same
Obviously I dont have any intention of writing all these equations
Is it making logical sense or not?..why? (WTF??)
Ok anyhow I will explain now listen!!
In this thing,it is only for this thing
It is very IMPORTANT BUT I will try to explain it
Your book I have not put the mark,it is in the photocopy!!
I will explain,I have not completed according to my satisfaction
Are you appreciating my point..no..ok!!
I will finish today's class in one statement..no two statements!! (surprisingly the 2 statements took around 12 minutes)

मेरी तन्हाई की अमानत...

उसने कहा, बस बहुत हुआ,

क्यों ज़माने की महफ़िल में

आखिर ले जाते हो मुझको,

किसलिये सबसे मिलवाते हो मुझको,

अब तंग आ चुकी हूँ मैं,

वो गलत नज़र से देखते है

इसलिये नही,बल्कि इसलिये

की कोई देखता ही नही,

किसी को कोई फ़र्क ही नही पड़ता...

सजल,तुम्हारे अलावा मुझे

कोई समझ ही नही पाता,

सच कहूँ तो मेरी मौजूदगी

का एहसास तक नही करवा पाता,

जानती हूँ मेरे अपमान पे

तुमको भी तकलीफ़ होती है,

तभी तो कहती हूँ...

मुझे अपनी संगिनि बनाओ लेकिन

किसी और का साथ निभाने को ना कहना,

मैं तुम्हारी थी,तुम्हारी ही रह जाऊँगी

प्लीज़ किसी और को अपनाने को ना कहना,

है इसी में अब खुशी मेरी तमाम

की बनके रह जाऊँ,

तेरी तन्हाई की अमानत मैं.....

ऐसा जब मेरी 'कविता' ने मुझसे कहा,

मैं चुपचाप,बस देखता रह गया उसको!!!

P.S : This post is a result of a realisation,and the importance of giving the required importance,and love,to ones own compositions...because at the end of the day,the world will never understand them,as well as we do,if my 'kavita'is special for me,am sure she expects me to be the same for her :)

DELHI 6...and the Ramayana Konnection

If you havent seen the movie....DO NOT READ THIS....and...WATCH THE MOVIE!!

I hereby attempt to present my views over the Ramayan connection of the movie Delhi6.It is something which is subjective,different people will have different interpretations,but surely if we dwell into it,we would appreciate the movie more,as a work of art.Here i go...

Purpose: Ramayana may be regarded as the most important piece of literature for our country.We Indians,hold it in high esteem,most of us have significant knowledge about it,but there are minute aspects which we tend to ignore.Ramayana,though an ancient epic,encompasses most of the modern issues,the problems,as well as the solutions.It has this ability to make us understand even the contemporary problems beter,and accept solutions,which we have always known,but find it difficult to accept.

Story connections: The 1st reference made to kala bandar,is followed by the description of Treta yug demon ravan,preseting Kala bandar as a wicked force.

Soon,we have the description of Ram and its said:"avadh mein aata hoon",and the next scene is about the situations that will lead Abhishek to Delhi.In a way,Abhishek here is being depicted as a messiah about to go somewhere.

Sita haran in Ramayana-can be compared to the way Sonam is tricked by an illusion(just like Ravana's fake impression before Sita when he comes as sanyasi),in a way she is also running under a false impression.Later we find how a monkey(Hanuman) becomes her saviour.Again this is a similarity on both occasions.

The references to monkey have been on different grounds,kala bandar as a positive thing(as above),kala bandar as a negative one(on several instances ,and also as the great Hanuman.

Coming to Hanuman,one thing I felt is though the religious text of Hindus,does it gurantee in any way that Hanuman(or any vanar) was a Hindu(dont decide anything by the name,if we know these names to be hindu names,its because we accepted them to be those).Reason of feeling this way was the episode where people are fighting over the religion of 'kala bandar',which raises some serious questions...

Talking about Ramayana offering solutions to many modern day problems,we have jalebi incident,followed by Shabri act being depicted.It is also shown that a small child asks the question"agar shabri achoot hai...",something which even a small child can observe,but we fail to understand.Also the reasoning "wo to bhagvaan hai,unko maaf hai" that Gobar offers indicates another important aspect."When you associate something with god or religion,people can allow rationality to take the backseat"(Very imp. for us to realise,this is what has led to biggest of probs,a person cannot distinguish bw right and wrong when it pertains to his religion,but I believe that in todays world,one must believe that no God is bigger than logic,rationality and truth).

Another instance is where,people talk about killing Kala bandar,which is followed by act of Ravan trying to kill Hanuman,which actually led to Lanka dahan and total anarchy.this is similar to what was to follow in the movie.

Then we have the war scene,Devta and raakshas war,with shouts of "har har mahadev around",it is followed by the riot scene where we find the violent Hindus shouting "har har mahadev".But are they fighting the demons,no because they fail to recognise them.

If Dev D was a wonderful take on modern Devdas,this also is an exceptional take on modern ramayana,which doesnt go the parody way,it goes the mature sensible path.Remember the movie has often talked about the genral goodness of humanity,as Abhishek says "yahaan log achhe hai"..this is what we have to realise,if today one needs to fight the Ravans,you just CANNOT fight others,because everybody is good at heart,you have to fight the RAVANA or the KALA BANDAR inside you,eliminate the reasons why the rams of today(which includes every person...because har kisi mein usi ka noor hai!!) sometimes behave as the Ravans....

Now if that isnt a masterpiece,what is then??...Hats off to Mehra Sir,and congos to Prasoon Joshi,his venture as a writer of the movie,even if not a box office success,is a brilliant piece of cinema.The metaphorical value of this movie,once realised by the masses,will make it a very very memorable one.I salute this piece of cinema,I could feel it,get involved,and maybe make it a part of my life..let us all pledge to kill the Kala bandar inside us,and fight the actual Ravan!!