PARODY-4....Kuchh kuchh hota hai

This is the last one that I have written so far...like any other karan Johar movie,I was totally dissapointed by this movie...some of the reasons for it may reflect on the "ekanki"...I hope people(especialy those who like this movie) wont take it otherwise... thanks :)

Its the scene where Rahul and Anjali meet...Rahul has to tell her that he is in love with Anjali,while Anjali has to express that she loves him...now the scene :P

rahul: heyyy anjali...aaj main bahut khsh hoon,mujhe tumse kuchh kehna hai.

anjali: mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hai.

rahul: pehle tum

anjali: pehle tum

rahul: jis tarah lucknow ke nawaabo ki gaadi pehle aap,pehle aap karte karte chhot gayiiii,vaise hi humari baat,pehle tum pehle tum mein reh jaayegi.chalo main kehta hoon.koi mil gaya....main to hil gaya....

anjali: achha,bas yehi bolna tha ab meri baari."aksar ek ladki is haal mein,ek ladke se solave saal mein,jo kehti hai wo mujhe kehna hai"

rahul: hmmmmm...anjali,anjali...kahin tumhe mujhse pyar to nahi ho gaya?

anjali: haan,aur kya?kuch kuch hota hai rahul

rahul: ye kuch kuch kab hua tumko?

anjali: claas mein jab mam ne pyar pe wo sawaal kiya naa,to pehle to main has rahi thi ki kaun se collg mein,final year mein,aisa sawaal poochhte hai. par fir tumhara reply sunke,kuch kuch ho gaya rahul.tumne hi to kaha tha pyar dosti hai.

rahul: haan,kaha tha.par ye kahaan bola tha ki har dosti pyar hai.jaane kya kya soch baithi tum?mujhe pata hota ki meri baat ka itta asar hoga to main kehta ki pyar..achanak mein ek khoobsoorat ladki se takra jaana hota hai....pyar ek videshi ladki se hindustani bhajan sunnna hota hai aur aur.....

anjali:rahul...tum tina ki baat kar rahe ho na??kya rahul,tumhe uski chhoti skirt aur classical bhajan ka diverse combination dikha par humari saalo purani dosti nahi dikhi "tujhe yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kehna"

rahul: nahi anjali..nahii...main tumhara dil nahi todna chahta,kabhi nahi.main confused hoon

(tina enters..)

tina:rahul...rahul...rahul....

rahul: haan samajh gaya.heyyyy...dekho faisla to karna hoga naa.tum dono mujhpe flat ho lekin ek bhartiy mard hone ke naate main ek ko hi choose kar sakta hoon.achha ek race karaate hai.

anjali: mujhe laga basketball kheloge...par race bhi thik hai.ye moti to zaroor haregi

rahul: ek recent film mein aisa race tha jisme saamne se train aati hai aur do log patri pe daudte hai.

tina: par rahul...ye to bahut dangerous hai...agar kuchh ho gaya...kisi ka pair fas gaya to??

rahul: to kya? tab doosri waali uski madad kar degi aur fir pehli waali meko uske liye sacrifice kar degi..heheyeee....dekho sab filmy grounds pe chala to faisla zaroor hogaa....to 5 min ki race rakhte hai....jaao apne upar waale se ye 5 minute cheen lo...apni sabse achhi daud laga do...ye 5 minute tumhare zindagi ke sabse khaas 5 minute hai....aeyyyy....daro mat tum dono!!

(background)
train paas aaye,seeti bajaye,tum hi kaho hum kaise,race lagaaye.....ab to mera dil,dar ke maare rota hai....kya karoon haaye....kuch kuch hota hai!!

PARODY-3... Dil to pagal hai

No offences to ppl who liked this movie...i really hated it....iska poora concept misleading sa laga tha...i have always believed in mature and intelligent love...not the filmy kind of pyaar which was shown in this movie...
aisa hi ek idea present kiya hai is film ki ek scene ke parody ke roop mein....where karishma and Shahrukh are talking after the scene where karishma tried to outclass madhuri in dance,due to her jealousy...
comments and suggestions again most welcome :)

nisha: rahul,main bahut buri hoon.maine jo kiya,mujhe nahi karna chahiye tha.tumhari khushi mein meri khushi honi chahiye par main puja se jalne lagi.

rahul: nahi na nishaaa...tum to..hheyyy...bahut achhi ho.meri sabse achhi dost.tum buri ho hi nahi sakti.

nisha: fir tum us puja pe lattoo kaise ho gaye?kya wo mujhse zyada sundar hai?mujhse behtar dance karti hai?aisa kya rahul??

rahul: nahi na nishaaaa....dil to pagal hai na.pagal kabhi sahi decision le hi nahi sakta.achhi to tum hi ho,lekin is dil ne use choose kar liya.

nisha: kyon rahul,akhir kyon?

rahul: wo puja ne mohabbat ki aisi philosophy batayi mujhe.ki upar waale ne sabko jodiyon mein banaya hai.har insaan ke liye uska ek jeevan saathi hai.

nisha: fir sex-ratio itna kam kyon hai rahul?

rahul: pata nahi,shayad puja galat ho.vaise bhi ye uske dil ka kehna hai...aur...hmmmmmm....dil to pagal hai naa??vaise ek doosra point of view ye bhi hai ki sabke jeevan saathi opposite sex ke nahi hote

nisha: mujhe unse kya?maine to tumse pyar kiya tha par tumne puja ko apna liya.mera to dil toot gaya.

rahul: isme bhi galti puja ki philosophy ki hai.jab maine usse poochha ki main us ladki ko pehchanoonga kaise?kya wo mere liye haath mein gulab liye khadi hogi?kya use dekhke dil mein kuchh kuchh hone lagega?badal garajne lagenge ya bijli chamakne lagengi?...

nisha: to usne kya kaha rahul?

rahul: puja kehti hai ki upar waala ek ishara dikhata hai jise hume sahi dhang se interpret karna hota hai.jaise use mera ek tune pasand aata tha aur 2-3 baar aisa hua jab usne is tune ko suna par mujhe dekh nahi paayee.bas wo samajh gayi ki use mujhse pyar ho gaya hai.

nisha: aur tum kaise samjhe rahul?

rahul: mujhe bhi to ishaare hote they na?yahaan wahaan wo dikh jaati thi,uska cake mere paas aa gaya aur yahan tak ki wo ek achhi dancer nikli. aur us dukaan mein jab bina pant mujhe uske saamne aana pad gaya....yehi to pyaar hai nishaa....upar waale ka ishara hai

nisha: main buri nahi rahul,tum bure ho...aur pagal bhi...dil to pagal hai rahul,shayad isiliye hume apne dimaag se kaam lena chahiye,pyaar ke maamle mein bhi...par tum nahi samjh paaye...tum dono paglon ko tumhara pyar mubarak

(in the background).....
itne to aasaa nahi,is jeevan ke raaste,
asal mein har insaa bana,hai zimmedariyon ke vaaste...

PARODY-2 ... Anand marte nahi

Anand is one of the greatest movie ever made....and for me the most philosophical....but meri kuchh uljhane hai...ajeeb lagta hai jab people of my generation dont really appreciate its philosophy, at times....aur gar kar bhi le,to jis raat race aur competitive world ka hissa,by default,hum sab log ban chuke hai...wo hume ise apnaane hi nahe detaa...the scene presented here is on this basic idea itself....its the entry scene of Rajesh Khanna(Anand sehgal)...the main difference is that Amitabh is not the quiet,patient kind of guy that he was in the movie.....yahaan wo anand se bahas karta hai...here it comes:

anand: hey babu moshaaye,college mein ladkiyaan aapko yehi bulaya karti thi naa?trivedi ne
mujhe sab bata diya hai.

bhaskar:ek to ye mere aur trivedi ke beech ka personal matter hai....aur agar ladkiyaa mujhe pataane ke liye is naam se bulaati thi to mere hisaab se aapko mujhe is naam se nahi bulana chahiye

anand:nahi nahi babu moshaaye....

bhaskar:ajeeb aadmi hai,main mana kar raha hoon aur aap hai ki...

prakash:anand,main tumhari x-ray plate bhaskar ko dikha raha tha.

anand: arre waah yahaan to apni hi film chal rahi hai.kyon kya nikal?

bhaskar: wo main trivedi ko likh doonga,aapko fikr karne ki zaroorat nahi.

anand: kamaal hai meri cheez aur main hi fikr na karoon?

bhaskar: kya jaana chahte hai aap?kya karenge jaanke?

anand:kam se kam beemari ka naam to batana padhega.koi poochh le to maloom hona chahiye varna badi embarassment hogi.jis cheez se jaan ja rahai hai,itni important cheez ka naam hi nahi maloom.uske alawa aapko estimation bhi dena hoga ki main kitne din aur rahoonga,uske hisaab se bombay mein apne programs banaaonga

bhaskar: agar main kahoon ki aapko "Lymphosarcoma of the intestine" hai to aaap kya kahenge?

anand: main aapse kahoonga is baat ko agar aap ghooma fira ke kehte zara aur sajake kehte to achha hota.

bhaskar:bhaskar:ye mazak aur maskharepan ki baat nahi hai.do you know the meaning of lymphosarcoma?

anand: dekhiye general concept to pata hai,par exact matlab nahi pata.wo aap jaise bio-students ko hi rata hua rehta hai.(explains the concept)he babu moshaaye,eta bhalobasha bhalo naai,itna pyaar achha nahi.aapki umar kya hai?

bhaskar: 28 saal 254 din

anand: 100 mein se 28 saal 254 din gaye kitne bache dost?
(prakash takes out a calci)
anand: dhat tere ki!! isme bhi calculator.doctors aur dukaandaaro ko har cheez ke liye calculator chahiye.bache 71 saal 111 din.babu moshaye,aap isse zyaada zinda nahi rahenge..

bhaskar: dekhiye main samajh sakta hoon ki aap kya dialogue maarna chahte hai,par aapko bata doon ki log 100 saal se zyada zinda rehte hai.ek medical science ke aadmi ke agae technical mistakes nahi chalengi.

anand: jitne bhi saal ho babu moshaaye.....main to ye kehna chahta hoon ki kya fark hai 70 saal aur 6 maheeno mein?maut to ek pal hai babu moshaaye.aane waale 6 maheeno mein jo laakho pal main jene waala hoon unka kya hoga?babu moshaaye zindagi badi honi chahiye,lambi nahi

bhaskar: aap aisa isliye keh rahe hai kyonki aapka koi nahi.unse poochhiye jinke relatives hai.birthday,shadi mein jashn manaane ki tarah logo ko marni mein rone ka bhi shauk hota hai.agar aap jaise log marte waqt bhi dukhi nahi honge to un armaano ka kya??

anand: babu moshaaye,ye to ek galat convention chala aa raha hai,usi ko to badalna hai.jaante hai humari problem kya hai,hum kal ke dukh ke baare mein soch apne aaj mein zeher ghol lete hai.maut ke darr se jeena chhod diya to fir marna kise kehte hai?jab tak zinda hoon tab tak mara nahi...jab mar gaya saala main hi nahi...to fir darna kaisa?

bhaskar: easy for u to say mr.anand sehgal.aaj ke is competitive world mein jeene se zyaada marna asaan hai.carefree se careless banne mein waqt nahi lagta hai.6 maheene jeene waale ko kal ki koi fikr nahi,par jiske aage poora future hai use bahut kuchh sochna padta hai

anand: maaf karna babu moshaaye,trivedi ne mujhe aapse mazaak karne ke liye manaa kiya tha.par kya karoon,aadat se majboor hoon,sacchee.

bhaskar: koi baat nahi,mujhe koi khaas humour nazar nahi aaya aapke mazaak mein isliye koi khaas fark bhi nahi padaa.in fact maine hi aapki saari philosophy mazaak mein udaa di.

anand: babu moshaaye...aap jaiso ki wajah se hi aaj log anand ki philosophy ko ya to samajh nahi paate ya samjh ke bhi apna nahi paate....khair,chalta hoon...fir milenge .... kyonki .... anand marte nahi...

I do hope that all of us try and discover that bit of "anand" in ourselves...that would be great for us and for the world around us...

PARODY-1.....aaj khush to bahut hoge tum

Back to my blogging ways...after a significant break...recently I tried my hand at something,which I really found to be challenging and innovative..its a special kind of parody where any scene from a movie is presented in a different fashion :)
The source of inspiration was my all special ORKUT...i really enjoyed it and will like to share my works...I havent written anything since about a month in this genre...hope it gets me started again...this is my first effort :P


Deewar mein ek bahut famous scene hai....jab amit ji pehli baar mandir jaate hai aur unki maa
beemar hai....assume that is film ko "jai santoshi maa" ke director ne banaya hota....unhone isliye, kyonki unke filmo mein devi-devtaaon se face to face conversation hua karta tha....to amit ji ki baatein sunkar bhagwaan darshan dete hai aur unki bahas kuchh yun hoti hai....


amit: aaj khush to bahut hoge tum,khush to bahut hoge.jo aaj tak tumhari mandir ki seediya nahi chadaa,jisne aaj tak tumhare aage sar nahi jhukaya,jisne aaj tak tumhare saamne haath nahi jode wo,aaj tumhare saamne haath failaaye khadaa hai.khush to bahut hoge ki main haar gaya.

god(darshan dete huye) :ye to tumse pata chal raha hai ki tum pehli baar yahaan visit kar rahe ho,varna itna daily turnaout hota hai usme tumko alag se kya pehchaanoonga main.vaise roz mandir mein aane waale 2 hazaar logo ka khyaal gar mujhe rakhna hai to ye sochne ki fursat nahi hai ki tumse jeet gaya ya haar gaya.jao bhaai mere busy schedule ko disturb mat karo.

amit: mujhe nahi pehchante.Indai ke sabse bade superstar ko nahi pehchante tum?

god: nahi baba,movies kabhi dekhi hi nahi maine,kisi superstar ko kya pehchanoonga.haan jo log regularly yahaan aakar film hit hone ki dua maangte hai ,unke baare mein assume kar leta hoon ki film se honge ye namoone.

amit: disturb na karoon,aayen? ... tum jante ho ki jis waqt main tumhare saamne khadaa hoon,wo aurat,jiske maathe se tumhare chaukhat ka pathar ghis gaya,wo jispe zulm bade to uski puja badee,jo zindagi bhar khud to jalti rahi magar tumhare mandir mein deep jalaati rahi,wo aurat aaj zindagi aur maut ke beech sadak par khadee hai.

god: mujhe behad afsos hai par ek baat jaan lo.chaukhat ka pathar ghisne mein hazaaro aur logo ka contribution hai,saara credit apni mom ko mat do.vaise is haalat mein tumko apni maa ke paas hona chahiye aur tum yahaan chale aaye?

amit: haan tum to khush hoge ki main haar gaya.par ye tumhari haar hai.kaun sa zulm,kaun sa pap kiya tha usne.kya uska kasoor ye hai ki usne mujhe janm diya,ye ki wo meri maa hai aur main usse pyaar karta hoon .ye kis gunaah ki sazaa di ja rahi hai use?

god: dekho ya to unke bilogical mechanism mein kuchh gadbad aayi hai ya fir ye micro organisms ki kartoot hai.yakeen karo mera,tum jaise bade bade insaano ki dekh rekh mein kar nahi paata to un microscopic jeevo ko kya control karoonga.mujhse naraz mat ho,haan meri bhakti karne ke liye tumhara hamesha swagat hai.

amit:hey bhagwaan.ye kis gunaah ki sazaa di ja rahi hai hume.hum ghar se beghar ho gaye,mera baap jeete ji mar gaya,meri maa suhagan hote huye bhi vidhwa ka jeevan jeeti rahi.kyon??

god: dekho bhaai.'ek chhoti si baat' batata hoon...ek kahanai ke roop mein.ek baar ek aadmi doob raha tha,use bachane kai local log aur bachaav kaary waare wahan se guzre.par uski zid thi ki use apne bhagwan pe bharosa hai ki wo use bachane aayenge.par ant mein wo mar gaya aur jab upar jaake bhagwan se mila to bahut naraz tha....tab unhone use samjhaaya: "tumko kya lagta hai,tumhe bachane un logo ko kisne bheja tha?"amit: aaye? kya matlab?god: bhagwan usi ki madad karenge jo apni help karega."the best place to find a helping hand is at the end of ur arm" yahaan halla karke tum apni maa ki madad nahi kar rahe,tumhe is waqt unke saath hona chaiye.unhe 'dua' ki nahi 'dawaa' ki zaroorat hai

aur isi ke saathAmit ji 'angry young man' se 'responsible young man' ban jaate hai....

comments and suggestions are most welcome :)

Sajal Is alone...and crying

Blogging is a world where u can freely express yourself,no restrictions,no boundaries.Time to check out the authenticity of the statement I suppose.I had often heard about, and occasionally witnessed people sharing an utmost joy or letting out their extreme bursts of frustation.Well I never did anything of this sort,probably never had such an opportunity.

Today,its different.I am in a really,really(assume a million more reallys) bad mood and wish to let out my anger,my hatred and all my emotions.Here is the world of blogging,totally unbarred and I wish to utilise the previlege.I am afraid I cant discuss about the reasons behind me being in this mood,all I want is to pour out some of the emotions which are threatening to rip me apart.Probably,the reason isnt that big or significant anyway,but as it happens,many things are contributing in their own small ways to make these moments really miserable for me.

Its the 11th of April,in fact 12th is about to arrive as i pen down these lines.The month of May is not far and I somehow,constantly get reminded of the May-07: some of the worst days of my life,with the most difficult I had to face.Its said that man has the ability to bear anything and everything,but the lesson May07 taught me was that this pain,at times can cross the limit of tolerance.The present issue isnt that big and I may very well get over all this very soon,which is nothing in comparison to the memories which for some strange reason,are trying to forge a link with the moments am living,at this moment.

I want to hate some people I have loved more than most things.One moment,I want to cry,shout at someone in superior tone,the other.Probably what is most disturbing is the fact that I am 'actually' feeling a sort of rage towards a few people,with not much of a fault of theirs.As I said,too many things contribute in their own small ways to make the matters worse.Few bonds which have been pillars of my existence,my overall happiness, seem quite meaningless,sort of worthless.Its like am hating loneliness,and begging that everyone left me alone.Obviously there are a few logics guiding my behaviour.I feel let down,unimportant,insignificant..(again...u can assume a million such phrases here).

Maybe,its just a matter of few hours when things will actually improve with a bunch of bloody explanations coming to the rescue.But the effect of all this is threatening to leave a long lasting mark somewhere.An irony is that the main reason behind the trauma of May-07 is the lone comforting factor in this depressing night.Few minutes of conversation with someone, actually are imparting the desired strength to withstand the worst of the worst.All in all,the lanes of memory seem more like a black hole...threatening to pull me into a void I fear to enter,I really do...

To summarise...Sajal is very depressed,really angry,too disturbed,highly frustated....but above all....very lonely,very sad....

KYA HINDI AISI BOLA JAATI HAI -Part 2

Here i present you an account of some really weird stuff.....kya hindi aisi bola jaati hai :)

Some people at engineering colleges do look like they should already be working in an MNC(age factor!!).But once when we friends came face to face with one such face,MK uttered those 'prophetic' words: "20-25 saal droupout hai ye ladkaa".I dont think I need to mention our reactions to it.It was during lunch time that MK gave us another reason to laugh,laugh and keep laughing."duniya ki har insaan humaari maa hai,uska mulya dekho".Thank god he didnt use his favourite 'daam' instead of mulya,I fear to think what i could have meant then.And ya,most lines of his anyway neither make any sense nor are related to the prevailing situation.
Consider the examples:
"tum log pe mat jaao"(can it mean ANYTHING??) or "kya janm deta hai in log"referring to a large group,comprising only of males(replace 'kya' by 'kaise' to get some idea of what he meant).Fata is such a nice and simple word,but when MK pronounces it as 'faataaa',the effect is hilarious.
Some of the expressions this fundoo friend of mine used while flirting with someone:
"tu itna zyaada mera fan ho gaya"..."tu to dhanee gharaane ki fal phool khaane waali ladki hai
'(I actually fell on the ground when I went into a burst of laughter at this one).Also when his flirting was well reciprocated by the girl,who also happened to be my close friend,these are the words his hindi gifted me:
"Tera friend mast hai,sudharne waali nahi hai"

Now just assume a character Miss X.Actually she is the one who asked me to write something on this whole hindi issue;as she was more than impressed by it(movier are not the only place gals are impressed by stupidities I realise).I wont be mentioning the name of the girl,and will call her Miss X.Some of the weird sentences which our literary genius managed in this episode:
"Annie mast ladki hai,Miss X ko fix kara diya"...."aaj Miss X dinner pe aane se majjaa aa jaayega".Actually the fact is that Annie didnt 'fix' anyone,it was just that we were getting to meet someone through a common friend.And when Miss X was around,MK kept coming up with wonders in his own unimitable style:
"bye bye de denge"
"ye bhi tujhe paneer dikhti hai"(referring to a non-paneer dish served at a dhaaba)..."tumne aisa aisa boli hai"......As my friend Gauri(from Gzb,u must remember by now)remarked once,"MK ek line mein infinite baar gender change karta hai"....not far from being true,one feels :)

Another evening where we had great fun on the roads of IIT,teasing each other,and playing around like small children,MK's genius remained a special treat.
"marenge na tamasha ek"(am sure it was more than a slip of tongue)
"Shilpika to gaya" (god bless the verb-subject agreement)
"aise behenship thode na hota hai"(another one of my favourites)
.....and the memorable...."tu to moti hai,tu charbee khaati reh"

His contribution was really significant in making the trip a grand success,with the 'innocent' linguistic mistakes playing the main part.I could give such a detailed account a couple of months after the event as I maintained a record of these funny ones in my diary during the trip :)....

But my intention is not to make a mockery of my friend. Actually these statements are indicative of his innocence and the fact that he doesnt make needless attempts to hide his shortcomings in front of his friends....after all,who else will help him improve.And we know that we dont have to just laugh at these comments but always try and rectify them and help our friend.Anyway,am pretty sure of MK speaking fluently in the language one day....he has great learning attitude,caring and helpful friends and above all....an 'actual literary genius' of this language in his friend circle :P
Till then lets just enjoy it as it comes :)

KYA HINDI AISI BOLA JAATI HAI- Part 1

Hello everyone
Today I am here to tell you a story.The title of my story is:" Kya hindi aisi bola jaati hai"
Once upon a time,in the campus of IIT-KGP,a group of friends had a great time.In the group was a really special person.Well,the special person was Sajal,who is sharing a special experience with you.But there was a comparatively less special person as well,who contributed hugely in making those days memorable.

Ok,now lets come to plain and simple description.The days at Kshitij(techfest- 08 at IIT KGP)are unforgettable for me,the reasons being innumerable.The overall experience of participating in events,attending the lectures and enjoying the struggle of life in minutest of aspects,it was fun really.I got to meet a very special friend of mine for the first time personally(cyber friends u know).There was a duration of few hours,where in the course of events,i reaffirmed the faith,not in front of others but in my own eyes,that am indeed living the life of a really good human being(and a friend).In a line,the days spent there are too close to my heart.

Now coming to the 'Hindi' thing(finally).Something which contributed in its own unique fashion,to the humorous aspect of the experiences.Well,no surprises if a college guy calls a 'hot' girl 'qayamat'(among his friends),but its when someone,actually,assumes that Qayamat means 'body'(???),u realise that he is no ordianry person.Gentle ladies and gentler men,meet my friend,Mrityunjay Kalita,who holds the distinction of getting 95 in hindi in boards.presenting the real picture before u,MK's lack of hold over the language,which incidentally happens to be the mother tongue of most of us,gave plaenty of chances to laugh our hearts out.His question "qayamat matlab body hai naa?" happened in the canteen of our college.Let us now focus on some of the experiences at KGP,some of the weirdest comments one will ever hear.

(to be contd.....its going to be super fun now!!)